I had every intention of going to Body pump at 630 this morning. The Buzzing and sining from my phone attacks my ears as the cold nip in the air tickles my nose. Out from the cocoon I go. Bloodtest. 3.4. Great! That’s a mint whip (M&S), lowering my bolus to 0% for 1 hour and back to the warm duvet cocoon. No Body pump.

I wake up at 12 in a diabetic hangover and BG’s up at 17! Feeling groggy, podgy and the spots on my chin are rumbling, I open the fridge and see what I can snacl on. Boredom is my enemy. Yes I could and know I should find something to do, anything, even my Christmas shopping (Eugh). I don’t want to leave the house. To make me feel worse my date this evening is not replying – fucking time waster!! I would have found someone else to go out with, it is Thursday after all.

My skype chat pings – it can only be James. James…… We have never met, just cyber met through POF (I’m covering all bases – POF, Tinder, Luxy, Happn and Fet). He seemed sweet but I knew straight away he was into kink, proper kink. He’s into consentual non consent, whips, belts, choking. He’s always said that he’s going to come over and I wont have a say what he does to me. It dangerous but exciting. He asks if im horny. Well, yes. Standard. As always! “meeting you at 3” he orders. “I’m at lunch” “im coming over at 3” this goes on until I shock him. In the time ive left it I have had a random job interview over the phone, definitely was not expecting it and made me shaking like a leaf. I think I fucked it. I tell James and he says that he can bring a bottle too. Brilliant! “come over”

I give a vague address, tell him what im wearing, what I want him to do. He tells me what he will do. “Fine come over and we’ll discuss safe words and boundaries over the wine.”

“Ok….. Ah shit! My meeting’s been changed to earlier.”

“Flake”

I go to the fridge and pick some more. Pork Crackling – That’s right. The Gods that are M&S food development team have done it again (The food hall is my church). Pork Crackling sticks. They’re carb free, They’re carb free, They’re carb free! My left arm twinges if I actually think about it! Chomp through 3 of them as my phone pings again. Sam. He’s from Abu Dhabi and taking me out tomorrow evening. He claims he works in fashion and claims he wants more than a fuck…. THEN WHY ARE YOU LEADING WITH FUCKING?!!! “tantric sex” “are you horny” “do you like sex” Pahaha. Im still going on a date with him. I challenge him and he says that’s why he wants to take me out, but asking my dress size? I’m dubious. Hope he’s as hot as his pictures!!

In the mean time there are 2 more dates being set up. Both from fet. Monday’s date im nervous about seems extreme. French, 6”6 wants a Sub. I will be meeting wearing a red scarf. (by his request of course – Glad I have a selection. Vintage Liberty? Or Alexander McQueen?) Tuesday’s also wants a Sub, but seems more vanilla, until we close the doors of course! All I can hope is that my markings from the previous night don’t anger him.

Smashed a body combat class at 2030 and now here I am picking at more food, nuts and cereal, waiting for sleep to set in. With the wind whistling through the fucking broken seals and bloods still high from exercise, I’m retiring. No fucking but certainly set up for the next few days at least….

Food: Crap

Exercise: Moderate

Men: Meh…. I’m sure I wont be waiting long.

 

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